“There’s never been a better time in the history of humanity to heal from the role of the family scapegoat”. 


Mary Toolan 

Scapegoat Child Recovery Specialist 

👋 Welcome to my website. 😊 

The family scapegoat is the child allocated to carry the ancestral shame of the lineage.  This extremely dysfunctional and toxic role allocation is a product of our dysfunctional society where trauma is ignored and thus passed down to the next generation. 

The scapegoat child is the truth teller.  They’re perceptive, wise, intuitive, empathic, gifted and sensitive.  They spot the dysfunction from a very early age.  It’s utterly confusing.  They call it out.  Alas, the dysfunctional family unit wants the status quo.  Talking about the elephant in the room is prohibited and will incur hefty consequences.  

In order to silence the family truth teller the scapegoat child is vilified, pathologised, endlessly criticised, bullied, made the laughing stock, ostracised and has their siblings turned against them.  


I come to this work through my own lived experience.  

I’ve found a way to heal from the pain, grief, confusion, anger, self doubt, shattered self esteem and toxic shame.  


There’s never been a better time in the history of humanity to heal from the role of the family scapegoat. 

The brain has neuro-plasticity meaning it can change and grow. 

A new life is possible for us.

We deserve to be treated with respect by others and by ourselves.  

We can live a life of freedom, peace, ease, joy and abundance.

Every day, I help people from all parts of the globe achieve this. 

I’ve been invited to speak on numerous podcasts and online summits enabling me to help people know they’re not alone in their suffering. 

I run a monthly membership where I offer group coaching and I work with a limited number of individual clients.  

People have found my free E-book extremely helpful and eye opening. 

You can find me on YouTubeFacebook and Instagram where I love to support my community and provide education on this taboo topic. 


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photo credits: Magdalena Smolarska

Family pathology rolls from generation to generation like a fire in the woods, taking down everything in its path, until one person in one generation, has the courage to turn and face the flames. That person brings peace to [their] ancestors and spares the children that follow.”

– Terry Real

⭐ My free E-book has been described as 'illuminating', 'validating', 'a game changer' and 'eye opening'.  

CLICK HERE to access your complimentary copy.  😊


I have been to talk therapy off and on for 40 years and have received more insight and compassion from your posts (free content) than any therapy.

Leslie Landry